When a relationship ends, there is not a lot that can be done to change that. What happens next you can be in control of, particularly when it comes to protecting yourself financially.
Here are 5 things that we have found to be very important in post separations.
1. Change ALL your passwords. And we mean everything. Social media, all your email accounts, bank accounts, phones, utilities accounts. The lot. There have been many occasions where clients have had their private information accessed, their emails secretly read by the other party, their whereabouts tracked, their spending tracked, and generally a whole bunch of private information covertly accessed. Why is this number 1? Its because this is the quickest thing you can do in a short amount of time online immediately after the end of the relationship.
2. Get across your financials. Collect all your relevant paperwork, and keep it somewhere safe. If you have a joint loan, get onto the bank to make sure that any draw down facility is 2-to-sign. Keep an eye on your bank accounts where joint funds are kept to make sure you are across the current balances.
3. Reduce the communication = Reduce the conflict. The best scenario is to try to maintain a level of civility so that you can work through the important issues, however this is not always possible. The best way to move past the conflict, is to reduce communication. The relationship is over. The old "but you did this" and "but you did that" bicker is usually not far from the surface in the early stages of separation. Keep communications brief, and to the point, and do not get drawn into arguments. Try to remember that people create conflict, but people also resolve conflict. In these early stages it is best reduce the communication.
4. Create Your *Positive* Support Network. You are going to need some new people in your circle, or at least some of your old ones. Re-engage with family and friends. Join a group or club. Get positively distracted with new humans. Seek out support people that engage you in a positive manner, and try to avoid mates & family that bring a negative vibe to the discussion and just want to talk about negative things about your ex. Sure, it's support, but it is not really helpful to you moving past the separation.
5. Get legal advice early. Many clients state that they feel very relieved after getting legal advice in relation to their situation. Many people fret about unnecessary things that they have 'heard' or 'read' on dodgy places like Facebook. And that old friend or work colleague that "has been through it" is probably not the greatest place to get advice from. It is important for you to know your rights, and the correct processes that are relevant to your situation.
When we provide our initial legal advices, we work with client's to develop two or three strategies, moving forward. Where possible, strategy 1 may include options that does not require you needing to engage a lawyer further or requires you to spend money on legal fees. However, the strategies that we develop are on a case-by-case basis and depend on the details of your matter.
If you are recently separated, contact us to make an appointment to discuss your situation 6268 4910 or contact us via our website or on Facebook.
[This list does not address family violence. If you are suffering family violence go here for more information.]
Disclaimer: All information provided in this blog is for the purpose of information only, and it is not intended to be construed as legal advice, and there is no intention on the behalf of Booragoon Family Lawyers to create or otherwise imply a client/legal practitioner relationship. No person should rely on this information for any legal purpose and they should seek legal advice from a Family Law Practitioner or Community Legal Centre or Contact Us.
Written by Craig Zwetsloot, Principal Solicitor at Vice Legal.